Bastard Groundhog

That bastard groundhog completely decimated my pac choi. I came home from my last trip hoping to harvest mounds of greens to eat with dinner, and low and behold, I had none. Then yesterday (my only day off this week) that little bastard dared show his face! And let me tell you what, he is HUGE. Im talking like, maybe 2 of my cats. That is like, 15-20 pounds (depending on which cat you choose.) I hate him. Can I shoot him now???

Then, chicken stalker tried a fast one. We were inside, the sun was setting, and the garden was in the shadows. Being her stealthy gray self, Chicken Stalker creeped her was INTO the chicken run, and UNDER the chicken shelter... Then I went out to close up the Golden Girls, and Chicken Stalker went running out of the yard. Little Bitch Chicken Stalker. Can I shoot her now???


  1. I'm all for shoot'n the groundhog, but being the crazy-cat-lover I am, I'd have to say "live trap" for little miss chicken stalker and a trip to the humane society. Maybe she just wants to snuggle up with the chickens????

  2. I'd lie in wait! We lost too much lettuce before we finally caught the menacing groundhog at our place.

  3. a few years ago as you will remember, a bastard groundhog chewed right through the 220 on grannys air condtioner and the little bastard survived... maybe they are cousins.. hmmmm want me to bring a live trap up for thanksgivin?

  4. Carolyn, I too am a cat lover, but one of these days, Chicken Stalker has it comin!

    Jody, unfortunately, in the city we aren't allowed to shoot the Bastard Groundhog... Although he does get chunks of cement thrown at his head to no avail...

    Momma, I totally forgot about that! Bianca has a trap set for him in her garden, but uh, why go all the way next door when I have a salad bar growing closer to his hole?

  5. Ha! Someone sent me to your blog because they thought this post sounded just like me.
    I have had a Bastard Groundhog. Also plagued by Bastard European House Sparrows and Bastard Deer.
    Love your blog!