5.12.2014

Life

Sometimes, my emotions get the better of me, and life intervenes, and this blog becomes somewhere for me to vent about other stuff than the garden (which is looking fabulous by the way!)

My life choices have sucked. OK, correction, I really love a few life choices including the wonderful man I am married to, the awesome animals we have, and I love my house. Other than that, I kind of suck at life choices.

I regret choosing to attend the university I attend. I regret my major. I regret leaving my fat paying job to be a student (even if it drove me insane.) I regret ever leaving college in the first place. I regret not being engaged in my education early on.

But you know what? Now I have to effing deal with it. And it sucks. I hate my major, I don't even know if I want to be a teacher anymore. I hate my university, but I am only 1 year away from graduating. I hate that I have to trudge on. I hate that I have spent so much money on a BS education where I haven't really learned that much. I hate that I no longer have control over my own destiny.

I hate it all. But I have to deal with it. Venting is how I do that I guess. 

4 comments:

  1. There's nothing worse than being stuck (IMHO) - is there any chance you can take your major/degree and morph it into a job that you'd love?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, I agree with Susan....can you teach, like Ag. or some other type of class that you like? I hated college....and I only went to a community college. So much BS just to get that certificate or degree and most of the stuff I had to take had NOTHING to do with what I wanted to major in (Accounting).

    Sometimes I wonder why I gave up my cushy (and $$) job because of the steady and fat paycheck, but I then remember I HATED it near the end. It didn't matter how much they'd pay me, it just wasn't worth it. Being driven insane at your job might send you to the hospital or grave earlier than you'd like....which doesn't make that money seem so important then.

    Fight on. Find your happy place. Make changes if you need to. And move on, whichever way you go.

    ReplyDelete
  3. There's lots of things you can do with a BS besides teach... hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Ash! A couple of things. First, I can relate, believe me, but welcome to the grown-up world, where, hopefully you won't have to regret as many things as most average everyday people do. The way to avoid that is to think outside the box and try to be outstanding at whatever you finally decide to do...which may not have diddly squat to do with your major. Second, if you think you hate how you feel about your major now, you've know idea how you'll feel if you quit in your last year. I do, because I did. It was interfering with my job where I'd gotten a promotion and I thought, "The job's more important, and besides, I can always go back and finish when things settle down," only to find that when things settled down (never!) it was already a moot point.
    But still, a degree is a degree and, incredibly, you'll find that certain things you've learned (maybe ones you don't even find important right now) will be of use to you in other things you do later. Formal training in something is better than no formal training in anything, because it teaches you something about how to think and work in a logical and orderly way. In other words, its practicality tends to be more subjective than objective, if you don't use it in the area you specifically studied for. But in the end, it's there when you need it.

    ReplyDelete