11.16.2011

Glad We Don't Have A Dead Cat

Just in case you have never been introduced to Charlotte, she our token "flake" of the homestead... As cute as she is, she has a TON few wires loose in her brain and is a, well, total flake. Today was flea drop day. Yes, I am still continuing the flea fight (WAR.) Anyways, so here is how the story goes... Charlotte hangs out in the basement a lot because well, no one goes down there. So our plan was to chase get her to run out, and the person guarding the door would catch her. Turns out that little flake is FAST. So up we run from the basement, looking on the main floor. Then we decide that she is up on the 2nd floor under the bed (which she was...) So now the plan is to get her to run out from the bed and into the bathroom, and we would trap her in there and go in with "the goods." That didn't work either... So this goes on like, 3 or 4 times, all 3 floors of the house... Yeah... we were tired...

So finally, she goes into the office and lays in the paper basket. At this point, we are so tired, and she is so scared, she let Hubby just walk up to her, grab her neck skin, hand her over, and I put on the drops. As I was applying the drops, Hubby said, we should cut her nails. She was so traumatized at that point, I said no because I seriously thought she was going to have a heart attack... After the drop application, my little babe tucked away in a dark corner for about 30 minutes, and then emerged to go find another dark corner on the 2nd floor... (This next part is just for my conscience) Really, she puts this upon herself... If she would just let me put the drops on and clip her nails once a month, all would be well!!!

So, conclusion? Drops accomplished, and we don't have a dead cat.
She is so elusive, I pretty much only have pictures of her from the back....

6 comments:

  1. yikes... poor little Charlotte....

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  2. Laughing...I know how that is. You've seen this email right?

    How to give the cat a pill.

    1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

    3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

    4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

    6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

    7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

    8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

    9. Check the label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

    13. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, pry cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour a pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

    14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table. Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

    How to give a dog a pill:

    1. Wrap it in bacon.

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  3. OMG Tami... I have never seen that! I was asolutely dieing trying to read that out loud to Hubby! I still have tears of laughter in my eyes!

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  4. Sorry kitty gives you such a problem. It's just a drop or two, why do they go NUTS! Ours know the exact minute we open up the frontline. It's just a little squirt on your back, not like a pill or anything!!!

    Thanks for the kitty picture....even if it's her butt.

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  5. Wow! Little did she know you wouldn't give up. We put drops on ours and she still comes inside with ticks on her neck. Thankfully the neighbor's dog gave her a good scare. She doesn't go out nearly as often any more.

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  6. Yeah, I guess I don't get the cat thing...hubby wants a cat. But they don't even act like they like you half the time! What's the use?

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